Chuck, a colleague I used to work with, emailed me a blonde joke. I (aware that Chuck's wife, Miss Sally, is blonde) of course replied:
Bob: That's a good one. Be sure to send it to Miss Sally! She loves blonde jokes, right?
Chuck: [Copying me on his email to Miss Sally] Darlin', you'll notice I didn't include you on the first mailing. It was not an oversight on my part. It was good judgment. But I can't disappoint my friend Bob, so here it is.
Bob: Please quit calling me darlin'.
Chuck: That would be a terrible misunderstanding indeed. I hope you're happy, now Miss Sally won't be speaking to either of us.
Bob: You talk to your wife? I gotta try that.
Chuck: Try small words, like "yes", "but", "right away", etc. Then you can work up to "yes dear", "I'll get right on that", etc. They're slow learners. Cute, but slow.
Bob: "Huh?" has always been my best line, but thanks for the tips. (You know, you could fill in on "Dr Phil".)
Chuck: I definitely have the personality for that. I could sit there, listen to some bed-wetter's self-inflicted misery, pat him on the head, tell him I understand... I could do that.
Bob: Yeah, you definitely have the knack. It'd be just like old times at the coffee break.
Chuck: Yeah. We'd eat some Nestle' Drumstick Ice Creams and solve the world's problems. We did a good job solving all the problems, I believe. But we kind of fell down on implementing those solutions. Wasn't that your department?
Bob: Well, I was making great progress, but then Bush got elected and ...
Chuck: Say no more...
Bob: That's a good one. Be sure to send it to Miss Sally! She loves blonde jokes, right?
Chuck: [Copying me on his email to Miss Sally] Darlin', you'll notice I didn't include you on the first mailing. It was not an oversight on my part. It was good judgment. But I can't disappoint my friend Bob, so here it is.
Bob: Please quit calling me darlin'.
Chuck: That would be a terrible misunderstanding indeed. I hope you're happy, now Miss Sally won't be speaking to either of us.
Bob: You talk to your wife? I gotta try that.
Chuck: Try small words, like "yes", "but", "right away", etc. Then you can work up to "yes dear", "I'll get right on that", etc. They're slow learners. Cute, but slow.
Bob: "Huh?" has always been my best line, but thanks for the tips. (You know, you could fill in on "Dr Phil".)
Chuck: I definitely have the personality for that. I could sit there, listen to some bed-wetter's self-inflicted misery, pat him on the head, tell him I understand... I could do that.
Bob: Yeah, you definitely have the knack. It'd be just like old times at the coffee break.
Chuck: Yeah. We'd eat some Nestle' Drumstick Ice Creams and solve the world's problems. We did a good job solving all the problems, I believe. But we kind of fell down on implementing those solutions. Wasn't that your department?
Bob: Well, I was making great progress, but then Bush got elected and ...
Chuck: Say no more...
5 comments:
"What?"
Hunh? {Er, I mean} Yes dear.
Good thing I have the gift of interpretation of written inflection, eh? Right? (Actually, I'm glad you clarified that this is an Emily-Latilla "Whaaahtt?", not a you're-in-such-trouble "Wut?")
Whatzup?!
Bob, I haven't forgotten that you volunteered to write something up on maroon. I surely do appreciate it and will take you up on your offer. I'll let you know when it gets close; there are 38 more colors before I get there. But if you get inspired to write something up earlier, go ahead! I'll hold it until then.
My husband likes to say he married the original blonde joke.
He still has all his parts to this day, a triumph of fear-of-jail-for-husbandcide over instinct.
Gosh I love your sarcasm. So few people are blessed with the true gift of smart ass.
I see you are one of the lucky ones!
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