On Being Special

It was cold this morning. (Well okay, it was cold for Texas. For Minnesota it was balmy.) Anyway, it got all the way down to 23 degrees Fahrenheit so Joyce insisted I dress warmly. I put on an extra layer of underwear, a long-sleeved dress shirt, my company-issued-safety-award jacket, a stocking cap with "Aggies" embroidered on it, my black cowboy boots, and a green left glove. At some time there was a corresponding green right glove, but that mitt has long since wandered off. Still, if you think about it, one glove is really all one needs. It insulates the left hand that grips the cold steering wheel, it covers the left hand that holds the computer case while the right hand slips neatly into the right jacket pocket... Honestly, I can't imagine why anyone would actually need the extravagance of a right glove.

So anyway, I went to the train station this morning, looking all dapper in my safety award jacket, blue jeans (dress-down day, you know), scuffed cowboy boots, stocking cap and left glove. I felt a little like Michael Jackson -- owing to my single glove (not my crotch-grabbing) -- so I gave some thought to moon-walking my way from the parking lot to the train. (There are lots of things I "think about" in my own way.) I boarded the coach, popped open my laptop and was immediately lost in study. Suddenly American Airlines Center was rolling past the window. So I hastily shut down, stuffed the laptop back into its bag and prepared to disembark -- which means getting ready to silently recite the train's automated words of advice: "Now arriving Union Station -- this is the end of the line -- please exit the train."

The mantra began as usual: "Now arriving Union Station ..." But then there was a pause, and instead of the train counseling me to exit, it began looping words of affirmation: "This ... is a special train. {long pause} This ... is a special train. {long pause} This ... is a special train". As I stepped onto the platform, I remarked to the guy next to me, "The train seems to have some sort of adequacy issues."

He laughed, "Yeah, 'I ... am a special train -- and doggone it, people like me.'"