The other day Ricky (a colleague in a different department) and I were both sent an email asking us for some statistics about the company. On one particular stat, I replied with a technically correct answer -- but not the officially correct answer that Ricky provided (that is to say, my answer was not the same as the answer the company has reported to governmental agencies in the past). Now, that's not to say that the company has reported incorrectly in the past, just that the question is somewhat ambiguous and either answer can be defended, depending on one's interpretation. In my email I explained that Ricky's official answer is also a good one -- but the context of the question has to dictate which answer is best.
Ricky's boss (Irene, who's group is responsible for reporting such statistics) was also copied on our responses and she immediately added her email, recommending that we go with the official answer. I took that as the verdict on how we should interpret the question, but Ricky (in an apparent attempt to stir trouble between Irene and me) sent a separate email addressed to both of us: "If a man speaks and a woman is not present to hear him, is he still wrong?"
I of course answered Ricky (with a copy to Irene): "Let's discuss this when Irene isn't listening."
Irene contributed her email reply (to both Ricky and me): "...too late. Oh, by the way you are both wrong about whatever you may have been thinking about."
And thus began this flurry of emails (among the three of us):
Bob: You mean to say you ladies can hear our thoughts? This is not good.
Ricky: It could be that we sometimes mumble aloud while cogitating...
Bob: Yeah, I talk to myself a lot. (Believe it or not, I'm actually pretty charming when no one's around.)
Ricky: Me too. I'm practically a legend in my own mind!
Bob: Yes, I sensed there was a swashbuckler deep in the recesses of your psyche. ...mine too.
Ricky: Here's the photo to prove it!!!
Bob: Wow! I need me a pair of goggles like that. (I already have the Errol Flynn WWII leather flight helmet.)
Ricky: They are cool, aren't they? It's amazing how much attention they draw when I wear them in public. This past Saturday morning as I approached the checkout line at Home Depot, after donning the goggles, people recognized my swashbuckler style and moved out of the way to allow me to go to the head of the line!!!
Irene: Let's video this, it would be a great YouTube hit ... in addition to a cape ... what about super-hero tights?
Ricky: I have leopard Speedos I can wear over my neoprene slacks if you wish! Bob -- whata you have?
Bob: I have some Sansabelt slacks that'll do. Can I carry a sword?
Irene: Sure! Just don't hurt yourself.
Bob: Yeah, you're right. I could get such a chafing. Forget the Sansabelt slacks ... way too tight.
Irene: Vaseline and baby powder.
At this point in the exchange, we mutually agreed our game of free association had gone far enough and we really needed to get back to work. Well, that and I was actually stumped (and maybe a bit worried) about what we might find to do with Irene's Vaseline and baby powder.
So that's why I like my job -- it sure is great working with people who are almost as crazy as I am.
Ricky's boss (Irene, who's group is responsible for reporting such statistics) was also copied on our responses and she immediately added her email, recommending that we go with the official answer. I took that as the verdict on how we should interpret the question, but Ricky (in an apparent attempt to stir trouble between Irene and me) sent a separate email addressed to both of us: "If a man speaks and a woman is not present to hear him, is he still wrong?"
I of course answered Ricky (with a copy to Irene): "Let's discuss this when Irene isn't listening."
Irene contributed her email reply (to both Ricky and me): "...too late. Oh, by the way you are both wrong about whatever you may have been thinking about."
And thus began this flurry of emails (among the three of us):
Bob: You mean to say you ladies can hear our thoughts? This is not good.
Ricky: It could be that we sometimes mumble aloud while cogitating...
Bob: Yeah, I talk to myself a lot. (Believe it or not, I'm actually pretty charming when no one's around.)
Ricky: Me too. I'm practically a legend in my own mind!
Bob: Yes, I sensed there was a swashbuckler deep in the recesses of your psyche. ...mine too.
Ricky: Here's the photo to prove it!!!
Bob: Wow! I need me a pair of goggles like that. (I already have the Errol Flynn WWII leather flight helmet.)
Ricky: They are cool, aren't they? It's amazing how much attention they draw when I wear them in public. This past Saturday morning as I approached the checkout line at Home Depot, after donning the goggles, people recognized my swashbuckler style and moved out of the way to allow me to go to the head of the line!!!
Irene: Let's video this, it would be a great YouTube hit ... in addition to a cape ... what about super-hero tights?
Ricky: I have leopard Speedos I can wear over my neoprene slacks if you wish! Bob -- whata you have?
Bob: I have some Sansabelt slacks that'll do. Can I carry a sword?
Irene: Sure! Just don't hurt yourself.
Bob: Yeah, you're right. I could get such a chafing. Forget the Sansabelt slacks ... way too tight.
Irene: Vaseline and baby powder.
At this point in the exchange, we mutually agreed our game of free association had gone far enough and we really needed to get back to work. Well, that and I was actually stumped (and maybe a bit worried) about what we might find to do with Irene's Vaseline and baby powder.
So that's why I like my job -- it sure is great working with people who are almost as crazy as I am.
5 comments:
Bob,
From a woman who once upon a time wore Crisco Jeans, let me just inform you the vaseline and baby powder is to squeeze you into your slacks then the powder keeps you from chafing. I too want a video and Joyce's play by play narrative.:)
P.S. Crisco jeans are jeans that are so tight you have to slather yourself in crisco in order to get them on.
You have way too much time on your hands (brains).
Of course women can hear your thoughts - didn't you know that? We usually don't listen but we can hear them.
I envy you your job...if I emailed anything like that, I'd get fired.
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