Thursday, July 30, 2009

Customs

Things Andy and I didn't say to the Canadian border agent, eh:

  • So like, how fast over the speed limit can you go in Canada, eh? I mean in Texas it's a-boat five miles an hour, so like that's a-boat eight kilometres, eh?

  • So like, a-boat how much can you get away with before you get deported, eh? I mean, so would like urinating in public get me sent home, eh?

  • So like, you want to know, if I own any firearms? Aren't you stereotyping Americans a bit, there? I mean, how would you feel if I asked you, "So like, is Celine Dion great or what?", eh?

  • So like, I could sure use a pain-killer a-boat now. So like, what drugs does the government give away in Canada, eh?

  • So like, you want to know when I was last in Canada, eh? So like, you're saying it bothers you that we Americans don't come up here to freeze near as often as you Canadians go south to thaw, eh?

  • So like, where's your red jacket and Smokey Bear hat, eh?

  • So like, when you say "firearms", are you like including like blasting caps, eh?



And here's a random photo taken today of a yellow field of canola (a.k.a. "rape"):


And here's a photo of a yellow cat:

11 comments:

Jerry said...

Just don't expect me, as a dual US/Canadian citizen, to bail you out if you get into trouble.

(The last time I was in Canada was early-1958.)

Mrs. JP said...

So, did you save up bail money so Joyce can come get you both out of the Canadian klink? Eh?
Hey to Emma

The Flyer said...

Just remember, when Canadian motorists cut you off, you have to curse at them in English AND French, by order of the Crown, eh!

Gladys said...

They asked me what my country of origin was and I said "Texas". The officer said "No your country." I looked him dead in the eye and said "You ain't never heard of the Republic of Texas?" He shook his head and waved me through.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Funny eh - you see all our silly, little exintricities and we see yours!
What I want to know is did you demonstrate the lost fart of blogging to the border agent - eh?

Speaking of cursing in English and French - did you know that French swear words all revolve around the Catholic Church - whereas, all we English speakers, American or Canadian, use sexual terms for curse words. Just another silly little fact about Canadians, eh.

Just a weird Canadian dropping in to eavesdrop a little. :)

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Geez - Canadians can't even spell the word excintricities - eh - as evidenced in the previous post!!

Bob said...

Bonnie--
It's nice to meet you. Of course, you know, we Americans have no eccentricities (well, 'cept them crazy New Yorkers, and of course New Englanders, and (goes without saying) them enviro-freaks on the left coast, and ... But we Texans are normal (well least ways, we light-skinned ones are, anyway). As for my fantasy of harassing border agents, it's just my imagination. The Canadian customs folks we met were all very courteous and other than their insistence that we must be hiding weapons somewhere, they were very welcoming.

Gladys--
It helps to be a cute young girl when you answer the INS's citizenship question that way. My luck, I'd end up being treated to an orifice search.

Flyer--
It's true. Everything is in both English and French, which in Western Canada makes about as much sense as printing the instructions in Swahili.

Mrs JP--
Yeah, Joyce has the bail money, but we'll get slaughtered on the exchange rate.

Jerry--
I knew I could count on you (to be no help). Just let me know if there's ever anything I can't do for you.

joyce said...

That is funny about Emma not liking the crate while the car is moving, and scratching trying to get out. Poor Emma. I can see Andy loves his kitty. Sure wish we had sent Sallycat along. I think Emma needs a friend, and Andy has plenty of love for both.

Bob said...

Joyceee--
At the border they asked, "So why are bringing a cat into Canada?"

Andy of course, said, "It's my pet."

But later he confided, "What was I supposed to tell them, "I can't stand the taste of Canadian cats, so I'm bringing my own"?

joyce said...

Why didn't they ask why Andy is bringing his father into Canada? and if he had brought his wife and child, would they have asked why?

Was Andy reluctant to admit he was moving to Alaska, and thus merely, "using" Canada to get there? too funny

Bob said...

It's worse than you think. Not only are we "using" Canada to get to Alaska, but we're even using their own Canadian money to do it.