Sunday, December 21, 2008

Flying Coach

"N joo?" asks the flight attendant, not the pretty stewardess with the lilting voice who'd led the refreshment cart past.

No, my inquisitor is the butt end of the refreshments, Eugene Levy doing a dynamite impersonation of a gay Puerto Rican.

His "N-Jew?" query has me sorely tempted to reply, "Nope, Christian - Protestant - Evangelical - Non-denominational." But I resist. Still, Eugene seems peeved.

Maybe I shouldn't be so judgmental about his being miffed at me. For all I know, he and his life partner might have had a spat last night: Hab'n we seen Singing in the Rain' enuff tines, a'ready? Why don' we ebber watch moobies lo que I like? ... Jess, I mean moobies like The Gladiator!" ... Eet soun's to me like joo're yost chellous of Russell Crow. ... Chure I tink he lukes hot in hees leather gladiator ou'feet, but steell -- eet's a good moobie. ... Okay, so maybe ee's a leetle biolen', but ...

"Sir! W'chew lie suntheeng to drink?"

I sputter, "Uh, maybe some orange juice?"

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Heh heh heh!!!

Bob said...

Okay, so I get easily distracted.