Sunday, May 18, 2008

Top Ten Disadvantages of an Empty Nest


10.
The question "Where shall we dine out?" lacks the decisive tie-breaking vote.

9.
The milk bottle languishes in the fridge.

8.
Mothering takes time to taper off.

7.
The lawn mower misses its playmate.

6.
The cat has assumed the duty of making sure we close our bedroom door.

5.
The wife can't satisfy my need ... for Scrabble.

4.
I can't satisfy my wife's need ... for conversation.

3.
Our house is so empty and our prayer list is so full.

2.
The question "Who clogged the toilet?" is no longer a mystery.

1.
The kids' bedroom (whose laughter used to be heard throughout the house) is sulking.

9 comments:

Mrs. Who said...

I still have four at home...I could send you one, two, three, or even four if it gets too empty for you, LOL!

LadyBugCrossing said...

We can all rotate our kids through your house...
LLB isn't thrilled with that idea, but it sounds pretty good to me. LOL!

joyce said...

And I don't know which is worse---the fact that our new 2LT can't understand my cryptic text messages or his exasperation with us when he comments on our blogs.

PrimoDonna said...

You'll get used to it all eventually. Here are a couple of advantages: You can walk around the house without being completely dressed, you don't have to cook as often (like say to your husband, "Let's go get pizza."), when you do cook you don't have to make as much (it takes a while to get used to that too), and you don't find as many crumbs and dirty dishes in the kitchen. That is only a few that I can think of off the top of my head.

Bob said...

Donna--
Yeah, I kind of figured the "Top Ten Advantages" list would write itself. We went to breakfast with friends from the church on Saturday. It was just like a date!!!

LadyBug--
Joyce and I can't handle girls.

Mrs Who--
We could never match the wonderful job of parenting you do.

Joyceee--
Do you think LBC and Mrs Who are buying this hogwash?

jennifer said...

I've thought about you guys. This post was funny... and sad too.

I think you and that Joyce Lady need to have movie night. Together time focusing on the boob tube and vegging out on popcorn.

May I make some suggestions (cause I care and I am trying to HELP, not meddle):

1. Hoodwinked - a cartoon but a really GOOD cartoon.

2. Failure to Launch - cause I think you need a nekkid room now.

3. Lord of the Rings Trilogy - for marathon movie watching.

4. The Chronicles of Narnia - GOOD MOVIE and the sequel was good too. Do you call it a sequel when it is a movie based on a different book, but a part of the same set of books? Am I helping you forget you are lonely for your kids yet?

5. The boxed sets of Everybody Loves Raymond television series...for when you don't have time for a whole movie.

All right, if you and Joyce have watched all of these, well, that would just be eery.

Take care Bob.

Jen

...and look how much lonely time you used up reading this comment!!

Bob said...

Jennifer--
The only movie among those we haven't seen is Failure to Launch. (But we've already seen Prince Caspian twice, so that's got to count for something, right?) We've never seen Everybody Loves Raymond (we don't have a TV), so that sounds promising.

Of course we miss our boys, but we wouldn't have it any other way. We know we lost those toddlers years ago. Now on to the next phase. Or as someone wiser than I has said, "Grandchildren are the reward for not killing your teenagers."

Chicka said...

Y'know, I could add a few to the "rent 'em out" list.

I keep trying to give them away, but people keep bringing them back. Something about too much rear bumper damage.

buffi said...

I'll add to the list who will gladly loan out kids to you. I even have boys who you KNOW are much like yours were/are. It'll be just like old times! And I'm close! Just let me know when you want a boy or two.

And if you ever wanted to try raising a girl for a day/week/month or two I can oblige that as well!