Friday, September 4, 2009

Audit Findings

The company I work for has hired an audit firm to audit its employee benefits program. What exactly can that mean? one might ask. It means my employer figures it stands to gain enough in avoiding insurance fraud to offset the cost of paying the auditors. Given the state of ethics in America today, I won't argue the prudence of that policy. But judging from the portion of the workforce I know (and respect), I have to believe any "savings" will be disappointing -- to both the company and the independent auditors. There just isn't that much gold to be mined from finding insurance fraud among tithing Baptists in the buckle of the Bible belt.

In fact, this audit will undoubtedly be a net loss for the company when you figure in the costs of lost productivity as all the employees have to take time out from their already crowded schedules to prove that they aren't a pack of liars. I probably spent an hour of company time (and half that of my own time) reading all the material I was sent and then faxing back the proof that Joyce is actually my "dependent". Enough about the folly of my employer -- the real point of all this is to report that it's now official: Joyce and I are actually married. I have the finding of a high-priced independent audit firm verifying our marital status.

I'm sure our three sons will be relieved.


Jerry said...

I'm going to have to get one of those.

About 20 years ago, when I entered the pastorate, I had a very vivid dream one night that your sister and I weren't really legally married, and that I needed to rectify the situation before our church discovered this sordid fact.

As a result, I actually pulled out our Dona Ana County New Mexico marriage License/Certificate and checked that all was in order.

joyce said...

I gave up thinking I'd ever have to prove we were married. Good thing I knew where we'd filed it, eh?

I was suspicious you were trying to get me a passport or something.

Thank you for marrying me.

Mrs. Who said... said your three sons would be relieved...I think your wife would also be relieved that you didn't make a floozy out of her!

Mrs. JP said...

Hey, the same thing happened where JP works and sure enough it's been verified - we're married!! I hate to think I've put in almost 25 yrs. training him if he wasn't mine to keep :O)