Speaking of Movies

I suspect everyone has a favorite line from a movie. Mine is that killer quote from Alan Rickman, who plays the Royal Shakespearian Company actor Alexander Dane (who in turn plays the space alien, Doctor Lazarus of Tev'Meck) in Galaxy Quest. "By Grabthar's Hammer, ..." is such a flexible quotation. These three words, suitably inflected, can prefix almost any sentence.

For example, if Joyce compliments my freshly razored face, I can give her my best queen's English: "By Grabthar's Hammer, ... what a shaving."

Or when commenting on the new asphault patch in the street: "By Grabthar's Hammer, ... what a paving."

Or when driving past a herd of cows: "By Grabthar's Hammer, ... what a grazing."

Or even, when praising Joyce's Saturday morning breakfast: "By Grabthar's Hammer, ... what a biscuit." See, you can use it anywhere! (Yes, my bride of longstanding is also long on longsuffering.)

Sadly, putting up with my cornball humor isn't the worst of Joyce's woes. The old Y-chromasome has been passed on to the youngsters. For a time, our youngest Ben was prone to channeling Jon Heder at the drop of a hat: "You know, like numb-chuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills." But back before Ben began deadpanning Napoleon Dynamite, he slew me with the mother of all punchlines.

Joyce and I were trying to top each other with expressions of endearment:
Bob: I love you, my dear.

Joyce: No, I love you MORE, my handsome husband.

Bob: No, I love YOU more, my gorgeous wife.

Joyce: No, I love YOU more, my sweetheart.

Bob: No, I love YOU more, ...

Ben (spookily accurate Gollum impersonation): "... my precious."