Friday, July 13, 2007

Wardrobe Malfunction

I had a sartorial faux pas the other day, but fortunately Joyce caught it before I got out the door. I know what you're thinking: “Oh, Bob left his fly open again…” But no, that's not it. I almost left the house with the manufacturer's tags hanging off my new pants. I'd removed the tags that were stapled, but who'd have ever thought that there'd be stickers to peal off too? (As Andy Rooney would say, “I know I didn't.”) Anyway, Joyce spotted the sticker and said, “Oh my, here let me help.” Thus my lovely bride once again spared me some embarrassment.

And that reminds me of another wardrobe malfunction from bygone days in which Joyce was a bit less diligent about her spousal inspection duties. (You may excuse her dereliction of duty as the result of her chasing toddlers all day and being up at night with the baby, but let's remember, she did after all fail to keep me looking my most dapper.) Anyway, on this particular morning, I got all the way to downtown Dallas, walked several blocks to the office, rode up the elevator, set down my brief case, and walked to a colleague's office to inform him that my usual carpool buddy Jim wouldn't be in that day because he was on his way to Killeen to visit his daughter who'd just had a baby, Jim's first grandchild.

I stepped into Frank's office (where I found him and two other guys sitting around visiting). So I shared the joyous news: "Hey guys, I just thought you should know…" But Frank interrupted me with his own news flash: "Your fly's open."

I looked down and sure enough he was right. But (as I tugged on my zipper) Frank's revelation didn't deter me from sharing : "Oh, thanks for pointing that out, but I just wanted to let you know that Jim has a brand new grandbaby."

Without missing a beat, Frank shot back, "Ohhh, well then, why didn't you say so? In that case, let's all unzip our pants."

I get no respect sometimes.

(Just who do I think I'm kidding about "sometimes"?)


Hula Doula said...

*snorkle That needed to end with a "TA DUM DUM"! He must have had some timing that's for sure.
We wives try to do our best but yes we do slip up a bit. But may be it happened at the office?! (yes I'm AKA as the defender of woman!)

LadyBugCrossing said...

LOL!!! I'm sorry... I shouldn't laugh... but it's sooo funny!!

Bob said...

Yeah, Frank's sharp. He and I carpooled for a while. Once I was stopped at a traffic light when suddenly a fire truck turned on its siren just behind me and pulled around me on the left, running the red light. I said, "Whoa, where did that come from?"

Frank said, "Oh, that's one of those new 'stealth' fire trucks."

Maybe I'm just sensitive, but I got the distinct impression Frank was implying I might not have been paying close enough attention to the traffic.